The Art of Listening

By Ken Chapman, Ph.D
Ken Chapman & Associates, Inc.
Once you learn how to listen, your leadership skills will improve dramatically. You will communicate better and solve more problems. Here are some exercises that will improve your listening skills and help you get the most out of each meeting with a team member.
1. Clean off your desk when meeting with team members. If there are loose papers on your desk, you will unconsciously try to fiddle with them and may even start to glance over them. Clear your desk for every conversation so you can focus your attention on what is being said.
2. What is the color of the person’s eyes? Train yourself to notice eye color at the start of every conversation. It ensures that you will make significant eye contact which leads to more productive conversations. Most important, do not focus so much on eye color that you do not listen to what is being said.
3. Train yourself to ask open-ended questions instead of making statements. Example, do not say “Joe, don’t forget that the Anderson report needs to be in on Monday morning.” Instead, “How is the Anderson report coming along, Joe? Are there any problems?” By asking questions, you will start a dialog and you never know what you might learn.
4. Learn to “lubricate” conversations. Phrases such as “Yes, I see” and “I understand” do two things. They show that you are listening and encourages the other person to keep talking, and they keep your attention focused.
5. Do not blurt out questions as soon as the person has finished speaking. It looks as if you were formulating your reply rather than listening. Before you ask a question, paraphrase the team member’s words. Example, “So what you are saying is… then ask your question. “Well, let me ask you this.” This cuts down on missed communication.
6. Do not smile the whole time. A lot of leaders do this because they think it sends a friendly message. It can, but people often mistake it for mental absence or a sign that you are not taking them seriously. Save smiles for humorous remarks.