The More Things Change…
Part III
by Whitney Tate
Listen to an audio version of this article by clicking here:
Part One of The More Things Change, focused on what all human beings share in common and how we are more alike than we are different. All human beings share a need to be valued, to make sense out of the world around them, and to discover a sense of purpose. The article ended with a recommendation to consider three questions: Are you treated with dignity and respect by everyone? Are you given the resources to make a contribution to your company that gives meaning to your life? Do you receive recognition for work which is well done?
In Part Two, we turned our attention to real (fact-based) differences between Boomers and just about everybody else in the workplace. Generational differences are not about “right and wrong.” Generational differences arise from where a generation “begins.” Organizations may take steps to mitigate these differences. Tips include focusing on the onboarding process, mentoring opposed to judging, and making human connections (outside of purely social media connections).
Part Three offers insights on the human connection from a Millennial’s experience. Throughout academic journals, generational difference research is trickled with the term “modest.” This is because many of the variables studied show modest differences between successive and younger generations. This is not to say there are no generational differences. This is simply to say in agreement with the Boomer author of Parts I and II, though generational differences exist, they are often exaggerated. At the end of the day, we are more alike than we are different.
Oftentimes, when a younger employee changes careers, a question arises: “What do you like more about this job compared to your previous job?” The responses are typically similar. They may say “I found a sense of community here that I did not have at my previous job.” Another popular response is “I feel like I belong here.” These answers arise no matter the make-up of the individual’s team. The make-up of the team may be diverse in things we can see like age, race, and gender. The other ways in which we differ is in things we cannot see, such as our thinking styles. Valuing what someone has to offer connects them to the team and ultimately the organization. It gives employees a sense of belonging. As was mentioned in Part II, Millennials and Gen Zs often find themselves in the midst of disconnection. The number of “likes” and “comments” on social media cannot replace the daily interactions community, faith-based traditions, work, family, and/or friends provide. While it is ultimately the individual’s responsibility to find their sense of community, it would be unwise for leaders to bypass the opportunity.
Building relationships with team members increases pride of association. Getting to know someone is reasonably inexpensive. On the other hand, choosing not to get to know someone can be costly. This connection provides an avenue for individuals to be a part of something larger than themselves. It is hard to feel like you belong on a team if there is no human connection.
What does this mean for leaders? We must meet the basic needs of human beings, be intentional in employees’ onboarding process and remain intentional in building human connections. Practically, what do those human connections look like across generations? We begin with our own habits. When we approach our behavior from a habitual standpoint, the focus is on our actions. It becomes easier to see what we are doing each day works for us or against us. As always, we begin with a look in the mirror. We answer the tough questions honestly. Are we a critic, or are we a colleague? Do we have a fixed or growth mindset? With whom do we compete?
From Critic to Colleague
Most of us have been conditioned in some form or fashion to be the critic in our work area. This could be finding a more efficient way to complete a task, examining the quality of a part, or searching for errors in a work report. These efforts are of great benefit when working on tasks and processes. However, it has the opposite effect when we use this approach with people. In fact, it is draining and disheartening to only hear about our shortcomings. When working with people, we must shift from being a critic to being a colleague. A critic simply points out what is wrong. A colleague helps you grow.
We usually find what we are looking for. If I am only looking for ways in which someone falls short, that will be all I find. So, what does this mean for me?
Millennials: Instead of criticizing someone who did not grow up with technology, teach them how to use it. Start with the basics, if needed. I do not roll my eyes and wonder how they made it this far in life without knowing something I learned a long time ago. The truth is I know how they made it without learning it. They have been busy learning other skills, and they have not faced this problem yet. Successive generations: Be willing to listen and learn.
Boomers: Instead of criticizing Millennials and Gen Zs for complaining about working long hours, teach them the practical benefits of long hours and hard work. Share your knowledge about business and how their role connects to the customer. Help them make sense out of work. You likely learned the importance of hard work at an early age. You also likely understand how a business works, but maybe they have not learned this yet. Younger generations: Be willing to listen and learn.
We must accept there will be some level of discomfort with growth. It can be difficult to admit there is something we do not know, especially when we think we “should” know it. It can be difficult to remember new step-by-step instructions until we have completed them multiple times. There may be literal discomfort with body aches and pains if we begin a new role that requires physical exertion. A critic points out the disconnect. A colleague extends patience and understanding as their teammate grows.
It may be easier to highlight our generational differences, but it is a better use of our time to understand what we can learn from those differences. We cannot expect others to listen to us if we do not demonstrate a willingness to listen to them.
From I can’t to I can
Successful professionals earn their success from working towards goals and learning throughout their career. Such individuals are described as having a growth mindset. Simply put, they understand they can learn. Those with a fixed mindset believe if they fail at a task once, they can never learn it. This is the difference between “I can’t” and “I can, I just haven’t learned how yet.” Again, we usually find what we are looking for.
At times, a task will arise that seems unmanageable. We may see a more experienced colleague offer a complex solution and the younger colleague says, “Wow, I could never do that.” We may see a younger colleague quickly solve a problem and the experienced colleague asks, “How did they come up with that so fast?” If we are doing this to other people, the truth is, others are likely saying those exact same phrases about us as well. We can never forget that we can do difficult things. We can solve complex problems. It may seem like it takes more time than it used to, but we must believe we can get better every day.
A professor once proudly admitted to our entire class he could not fold towels the way his wife wanted him to fold towels. His wife had a different method than his mother, and somehow, he could not learn it. If this individual could not learn how to fold a towel, how could I trust him to teach me mathematics? Afterall, folding is geometry!
The bounds of what we can learn are likely more extensive than we realize, but to get there we must first be honest with ourselves. We must tell ourselves the correct story: we can learn, we will make mistakes, and we can do tough things. When we tell ourselves we cannot change our habits, or learn new skills, we stunt our personal growth and eventually become an obstacle for our team.
Younger generations: Some things must be learned over time and through experience. But don’t let that be the only way you learn. Ask your colleagues for insights, advice, and perspectives. We are more willing to accept information when we seek it, and it also shows initiative.
Successive generations: You have learned hard and important things formally and informally throughout your career. Don’t stop now! Just because something is new or different, it is not impossible. Also, take an opportunistic approach to sharing what you know.
The Competition is Outside the Gate.
Friendly competition can be motivating in the short term, but the liability is not worth the effort. Competition between shifts can, in the short-term, increase productivity. It can also create unintentional animosity. When there is a competition, there is a winner and a loser, whether it is formally recognized or not. We know this from youth sports. Even when the parents choose not to keep score, the players still do. (Ask any eight-year-old who won their baseball or softball game.) If we approach generational differences as a competition, this implies there is a winner or a loser generation. This seems rather silly.
Competition between generations can be an attempt to prove something is better or worse. Both Boomers and Millennials may have experience and feel comfortable working in Word. A Gen Z may prefer working in Google Docs. Each of these tools has its benefits, but neither group is right or wrong, or better or worse for their preference. When we approach situations thinking we are always right, or are better, conversations easily become personalized. We are defending our position rather than listening openly. When we are always right this means we are never challenging ourselves.
It can be tempting to try and prove your value by being better, faster, or more knowledgeable than others. For younger generations, this typically shows itself by proving ideas are “better.” With successive generations, this can show itself by hoarding knowledge of the preferred method. It may be choosing the same process, without consideration of newer methods. There is space for both tradition and innovation in the workplace. The competitive advantage comes when we leverage each other’s knowledge and expertise. This means all involved must begin with recognizing we are all on the same team.
Remember, it is never Gen Z vs. Millennial vs. Gen X vs. Boomer. The competition is outside the gate. The only competition allowed inside the gate should be you vs. you yesterday.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCE:
Listen to Brain Chatter Podcast’s episode
A Conversation with a Gen Z, Everyone’s Newest Co-Worker
